Why am I so afraid to speak in English? And how to finally start talking

You’re not alone. Millions of people around the world know exactly how this feels: you’re in a room, someone asks you a simple question in English, and your mind goes blank. Your throat tightens. Your tongue feels heavy. You mumble, laugh nervously, or just say, ‘I’m fine, thanks’-even when you’re not fine at all.

It’s not about your English

Most people think fear of speaking English means they’re bad at grammar, vocabulary, or pronunciation. That’s not true. You might know hundreds of words. You might have passed IELTS with a 7.0. You might even write perfect emails. But when it comes to speaking? You freeze.

The problem isn’t your English. It’s your brain’s survival mode.

Think about it: when you were a kid, you didn’t fear speaking your first language. You made mistakes all the time-said ‘goed’ instead of ‘went,’ mixed up ‘he’ and ‘she’-and no one laughed. No one judged you. But when you started learning English, something changed. You were told: ‘Say it right.’ ‘Pronounce it clearly.’ ‘Don’t make mistakes.’

Your brain started treating English like a minefield. Every word felt like a potential error. Every pause felt like failure. Every mispronunciation felt like proof you weren’t good enough.

What’s really happening in your head?

When you’re about to speak English, your amygdala-the part of your brain that handles fear-flashes a red alert. It doesn’t care if you’re fluent. It only cares about social risk. And in your mind, speaking English = risking embarrassment.

You imagine:

• People laughing at your accent
• They think you’re stupid
• You’ll sound childish
• You’ll be seen as ‘not professional’

These aren’t facts. They’re stories your brain made up. But your body believes them. That’s why your heart races. Why your palms sweat. Why you avoid conversations even when you know you could handle them.

A 2023 study from the University of Melbourne found that 68% of adult English learners who scored B2 or higher on the CEFR scale still avoided speaking in real-life situations-not because they couldn’t, but because they were afraid of being judged.

Real people. Real stories.

I’ve worked with people from India, Brazil, Nigeria, and Vietnam-all in Melbourne. All had the same fear.

One woman, Priya, had a master’s degree in engineering. She could write complex reports in English. But when her boss asked her a question in a meeting, she’d say, ‘I’ll get back to you’-even when she knew the answer. She was scared her accent would make her sound unprofessional.

Carlos, from Colombia, avoided networking events because he thought people would think he was ‘not smart’ if he spoke slowly. He practiced for months but never spoke to a native speaker until he joined a free conversation group at the library. The first time he said, ‘I’m nervous’ out loud-he didn’t get laughed at. He got a nod. And a coffee invitation.

Here’s the truth: no one is waiting to judge you. Most people are too busy worrying about their own mistakes.

How to start speaking-without waiting to be ‘ready’

You don’t need to be perfect. You don’t need to know every word. You just need to start.

Here’s what actually works:

1. Speak to yourself first. Talk out loud while brushing your teeth. Describe what you’re doing: ‘I’m putting on my shoes. The weather is cold today.’ No one hears you. No judgment. This rewires your brain to associate English with safety.
2. Use low-stakes environments. Join a free online conversation group. Try apps like Tandem or HelloTalk. Start with 5-minute chats. Say: ‘I’m learning. I’m nervous. Can we talk slowly?’ You’ll be surprised how many people say yes.
3. Accept mistakes as part of the process. Every native speaker makes mistakes. They say ‘I seen’ instead of ‘I saw.’ They mispronounce ‘comfortable’ as ‘comf-ter-bull.’ They pause. They restart. They say ‘um’ a lot. You’re not broken. You’re human.
4. Focus on being understood, not perfect. Your goal isn’t to sound like a BBC presenter. It’s to get your point across. If someone asks, ‘What did you do this weekend?’ and you say, ‘I go park. Walk dog. Very tired,’ they’ll still understand. And they’ll think, ‘Nice to meet you.’ Not, ‘What a bad speaker.’
5. Record yourself. Not for perfection. For progress. Listen back after a week. You’ll hear improvement you didn’t notice while speaking. That’s motivation.

The 30-day challenge: Speak for 5 minutes a day

Pick one thing. Just one. Every day for 30 days, speak English for five minutes. No pressure. No audience. Just you.

Day 1: Describe your breakfast.

Day 5: Talk about your favorite movie.

Day 12: Explain why you’re learning English.

Day 20: Tell a small story about something that made you laugh this week.

Day 30: Play it back. You’ll hear a voice that’s stronger than the one you thought you had.

What to do when the fear comes back

It will. Even after months of practice, the fear shows up before a job interview, a presentation, or a first date.

When it does, try this:

• Breathe in for 4 seconds.
• Hold for 4.
• Exhale for 6.
• Then say: ‘I’m still learning.’

That phrase is your shield. It’s honest. It’s humble. And it takes the pressure off. Most people respond with, ‘Oh, me too!’ or ‘That’s awesome-you’re doing great.’

You’re not behind. You’re becoming.

There’s no finish line in speaking English. There’s no point where you suddenly become ‘fluent’ and the fear vanishes. But there is a point where you stop letting fear decide for you.

That’s when you start speaking-not because you’re ready, but because you’re willing.

You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to be present.

One sentence. One conversation. One day at a time.

That’s how it starts.